Since we all connect on Facebook and really like to share our serial monogamy status updates, can we do the same for brief encounters? This would be a good social/political move, bringing sexual encounters up to the same importance/acceptability as serious relationships. Either in the form of the romantic status update, “Recently fornicated with…,” or more profoundly, we could add our one night stands, flings, casual romances, serious romances, and live-in partners to our timeline as so-called life events. Do people already do this? I’d get a kick out of a timelined stream of serial monogamists.
If I had the courage I would firstly add the day and year when my virginity was quickly lost. “… added a life event from May 16th, 2003, to his timeline: Had sex for the first time with…”
This would allow Facebook to fully achieve its proper function as a confessional. Could also be a new and great advertising campaign.
I live in a small city, 75000 or so people. We have two downtown streets essentially, the busier of which about a half dozen homeless or very poor individuals spend their time. On my daily walks to a cafe I inevitably pass a number of these individuals. Occasionally I’ll “spare some changes,” as the one fella often demands as I walk by. I sometimes say in return that I will purchase food or drink for them and all but once they’ve refused.
The guilt gets to me as a go into my cafe with my $500 laptop, purchase a $4 latte, and every now and then a $2 muffin. Worse yet I get asked for change on my way to the bank where I deposit my wad of bills. Should I agree to give out $20s in exchange for never being asked again, leaving my middle class existence subsequently unquestioned and untouched by the needs of the poor? The one instance an individual agreed to have a coffee purchased for him, he re-entered the cafe about 30 minutes later, and again asked me for change. I had to remind him that I just bought him a drink.
Since the weather has turned, giving me warm sunny days, I’ve been riding my bike to the cafe. I can pull up right beside the place, lock up the bike, and forget that I have it so much better than plenty of other folks in this town.
Every time I get to see an old punk rock or hardcore band it makes me feel pretty warm and fuzzy inside, combining both nostalgia and the unique experience of a reunion tour. On the other side of things just hearing a song or album from ages ago sparks concrete memories because, I think, it is an invisible and aural experience while seeing a performance is, as said, unique for its time and place. So we’re more free to daydream, recollect, and fantasizing when listening to an old record. Hearing a Bigwig album last night for the first time in 10 years, I wanted to ask whether this music was/is any good or whether it just brings back fond memories, but those are two unrelated questions and the latter is much more interesting.
I had forgotten so much of high school until that Bigwig album; at the sound of the first note images of Collingwood Collegiate Institute came to mind. Exactly where I had my lockers, my classrooms, the alcoves and hallways where I saw a few bloody fights. More importantly, one of the first things I said when the cd started playing was not how great the band was, but that it reminded me of some of the girls I had crushes on. It reminded me that my teenage years were filled with anxiety and excitement at the slightest possibility of communicating with my crush, or holding hands, or maybe, just maybe if all the planets aligned at lunchtime, getting a little kiss.
Thinking more about it now, nothing has really changed. I’m still anxious and excited by the tiniest glance from a stranger, staying up much too late thinking about how a date might go, or worrying whether or not the sex was any good (please don’t tell me if you’re reading this and we’ve done it – unless I was excellent). In a couple years I turn thirty; it will be fun to see what songs bring back memories of my twenties and then feel all the accompanying emotions and sensations.